A Very Open Letter to Hiring Managers

To Whom This May Concern,

As a recent college grad, I’m slowly and surely learning that the four years we spend actually working towards graduation and our degrees is only half the battle. No one ever told us how much work we would still have to put in after the fun was over and the real world kicked in (before getting that full-time job).

This letter is mainly a complaint to anyone anywhere working for a company within Human Resources. Those people’s whose only job it is to read resumes and cover letters, determine if the credentials and qualifications fit, and then either place them in the yes or no pile, and send them to the next person in charge.

Cake, right? Doesn’t seem like rocket science to me, but hey, I was a Marketing major, so what do I know, right?

Applying for a job today is more than just sending your resume; sometimes it can be, but nine times out of ten it isn’t, unfortunately. Most companies want more than just your resume; they want you to write a cover letter, basically just your resume in paragraph form with lots of embellishments and sucking up about why you’re the “right” candidate for the position.

 

This can be time consuming; trying to make all of your experiences and skills somehow fit the job description into a way you think the person reading it will see fit. It can be frustrating because an HR manager may just read your resume and already know you’re not qualified for the position and never take the time to read that well-written, thought out cover letter. Finally,  it can be tiring after you do it so many times. Luckily for similar positions, sometimes all you have to do is change a line or two and the company name and address. It’s the little things…

My complaint isn’t really so much about having to do this, because then I would be that person that thinks everything should just come easy to us and we shouldn’t have to put in the work to achieve success. That’s not it. My problem is that only a small number of firms ever even respond letting you know you successfully submitted your materials, while 90% of the time you never hear a peep.

Even that is not completely my problem. My number one complaint and frustration about job searching is when companies, especially ones you’re interested in, just decide to never reach out to you and let you know that you’re not fit for the position. And not getting an interview-Rude, rude, rude.

I understand companies look for very specific things like 70 years of experience and doctorates for what is allegedly an entry-level position, but come on! I am taking the time to make sure I sound competent and professional and more than interested when applying for a job and writing that cover letter, and I patiently wait for a response for weeks at a time for just some sort of communication on their end. The least you can do is send an automated, generic message along the lines of ‘Thank you for your interest in Company XYZ, however after reviewing your resume, we do not think you have enough experience for what we’re looking for right now. Please keep checking for other opening positions, and apply again later. Thank you again for your time.’

Seriously, is that too much to ask?

I can’t say this is true for all companies because there have been those rare occasions where I have gotten a response along those lines, so thank you to the 1% of companies in the Philadelphia area that have common courtesy.

More often than not, no news is bad news. So after a few weeks of silence I’m smart enough to know I’m not getting an interview, but I would rather just have that in writing than having that little ounce of hope I’ll open my email one morning to some good news.

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You were once in my position when you were fresh out of college, think about those times and how you would hate to be me and show me some mercy. Or take pity on me, whichever you prefer. Probably the latter.

I am fully aware that most companies get hundreds of applications and it can be time consuming, but the yes and no piles are usually very different in height if you know what I mean. So after sending the yes pile over to the next person in the hiring chain, have the decency to send that automated, generic email to the suckers who aren’t getting an interview. We would all appreciate it very much.

Sincerely,

Colle grads everywhere

P.S. Don’t write in your job posting descriptions that you want a candidate who is recently graduated with 5 + years of work experience in your related field, it’s just not ideal and a little naïve. Thanks.

 

 

 

Post Grad Dating

If you thought finding a boyfriend in college was hard, you’re obviously still in college because trying to find a boyfriend once you’ve graduated is near impossible.
In college you’re constantly being exposed to new people, even if none of them fit your criteria for prince charming, at least you’ve got options. Once you’ve graduated, a lot of these outlets for meeting people disappear; so how’s a gal supposed to find a boyfriend now? The options don’t seem too promising: you can start dating one of your friends, hope to be introduced to a friend of a friend, meet someone randomly at a bar, or resort to apps like Tinder and Bumble. Neither of these options guarantees you’ll end up with a winner either.

Most of my guy friends would probably make great boyfriends, but that doesn’t mean I want them to be my boyfriend. We’ve gone through a lot together and that isn’t necessarily a great foundation for a new romance. I don’t need my boyfriend and potential husband knowing all of the dumb things I’ve done over the years.

Another con of dating one of your friends is upsetting the balance of your friend group. What happens when you fight or god forbid break up? You have to be prepared to be exiled from that friend group; worst case scenario or best case scenario, you share the friend group and alternate weekends out like the child of divorced parents. I won’t even suggest you both stay in the friend group because that’s just awkward and torturous for all parties involved. Some people are just better off as friends.

Possibly the most promising of the post grad options for meeting a man is through a friend of a friend, but this also leaves the most up to chance. Friends of friends can be a great resource for post grad dating. In my eyes it would be ideal to date a friend’s friend. You don’t have to worry about your date being a serial killer and they’re far enough removed from your life to not know too many dirty details.

The only kink in this plan is that it depends explicitly on your friends having other friends that you’d want to date. First, you need the friend with suitable friends, then you need them to make the introduction, then you need the guy not to be a weirdo. It’s a delicate situation, especially if it turns out that you don’t like the person all that much, you risk offending your friend.

Before going away to college was the norm, people pretty much depended on meeting their spouses randomly. My parents met at a bar, my dad and his buddies went to my grandparent’s house the next day for a barbecue and the rest was history. I can’t even put into words how strange I would find it if someone I met at a bar wanted to come to my parents house the very next day. It’s not hard to start talking to someone you don’t know at a bar, but it can be risky. You never know who you’re talking to; is this guy going to be the answer to your prayers or is he going to unwantedly follow you around for the rest of the night. Even less likely that you’ll find a potential suitor at a bar, imagine meeting a stranger at a coffee shop. I can’t help but think about how utterly strange that would be not to mention unlikely.

Thankfully apps like Tinder and Bumble let you be proactive in post grad dating so you don’t have to hold your breath for coffee shop guy. However, finding someone you’d even consider boyfriend material on these apps is like finding a diamond in the rough. You’ve got to be persistent, you’ve got to have patience and you’ve got to use up a lot of data every month. So you swipe for what seems like eternity, send out a few messages and then wait. Getting an answer is only half of the battle though because from there you have to materialize a conversation out of thin air. If the connection is there you can take the relationship off of Bumble and eventually into real life. Just be prepared to tell everyone you encounter for the rest of your life a fake story about how you met, perhaps at a coffee shop?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned since graduation, it’s that I don’t want to settle for anything, especially not for a love interest. Sure my contestant pool took a devastating loss after graduation, but that just means I’ll be more likely to recognize and commit to a good thing when its right in front of me. In college it was hard to keep someone’s interest, now it’s hard to even find someone worth interesting. Post grad dating is basically a waiting game. Wait for one of your friends to express interest, wait to get introduced to somebody, wait to meet someone randomly, wait for him to message you back on Bumble. As much as I want this waiting game to be over, at least the few prospects I have now are keeping me entertained.

Good luck out there ladies.

 

Back To The Drawing Board

“So, what are you up to now?” – Every family member, neighbor, peer, basically the whole population. I hate nothing more than that question. Mostly because the majority of the people who approach me with it already know the answer, or know that nothing exciting is happening right now in my life, but continue to make me focus on the fact that I’m a college graduate who’s only income comes from hanging out with 2 year olds. Post-grad life, man.

I could find a job, pretty easily, not to toot my own horn. But it’s not the most competitive field, marketing, it’s a lot of remedial tasks that anyone with a brain could do. Sorry to any fellow marketing majors reading this, but you know you picked it for a reason over something a little more challenging like accounting.

But the thing is, I don’t want a job like that. I don’t want a 9-5 desk job where I stare at my computer screen to pass time. I don’t want to settle for a boring job just because I should do that or because I have to do that. I want to do something that I love and am excited for when I wake up everyday. Obviously I’m not going to find a job that I love every single aspect of, that’s too good to be true, but I would rather be able to make a list with more pros than cons when thinking about my job. Unfortunately, I don’t think I will ever find this within marketing, or even just business in general.

I’ve recently decided/discovered that I want to work within book publishing, not write a book, but be part of the process that releases the finished book. I’ve always love reading and writing, and I think I might actually be good at something like this, more importantly, I think I could love something like this.

Obviously it would have been more ideal if I would have known all of this four years ago, but it’s okay, I’m young and still learning. It’s life.

So, for right now, I might not have a career, or a new car, or even a paycheck, but I know what I don’t want to do and I know what I want my future not to look like, which is more than most people have. It’s a start.

I hope to pursue a Master’s Degree in Creative Writing & Publishing within the next two years, and until than I may have to work some boring office job to support myself, and that’s okay, because I know it’s not permanent, it’s just temporary.

So, what am I up to now? I’m enjoying this little grace period I’ve been lucky enough to have where I can just breathe for a little while I put my plans into action. I get to enjoy Sunday Funday with my friends, I can still sleep in on random Mondays, I have time for me and I’m soaking up every second of it! I’m back to the drawing board. So, for anyone reading this that’s in the same boat as me, at least we’re not alone.

Goal: find a job by January that provides me a salary and co-workers over the age of 8.

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