The Struggles of Moving Back Home After 4 Years of Semi-Independence

Let me just start off by saying that I’m very aware that moving home after graduation today is the most responsible, and maybe even the only option because of the skyrocketing pile of loans we all have; but in return, we better prepare ourselves to leave our freedom at mom and dad’s doormat and return to a lifestyle we outgrew. This may feel like a step in the wrong direction, but hopefully it’s just a pit stop while we keep piecing together our adulthood puzzle. However, even after knowing why moving home is the most sensible decision, it doesn’t make this hard pill any easier to swallow. If you’re reading this, mom and dad, I love you and please don’t kick me out. Also, I’m sure you’re equally as unhappy about this change as I am, maybe even more.

So here it is. My parents aren’t the most health conscious people when it comes to eating, which is fine, but after eating like shit the past four years, I’m trying to be better about what goes into my diet. So usually I buy a good amount of my own groceries with the exception of the staples like milk or eggs.

On Monday night, after already having a huge blow out with my mom about not remembering to text her that I wouldn’t be coming home the night prior, I went to the food store and bought groceries for myself to last the week. Normal, right? And not for nothing, my parents should be happy I’m buying my own groceries and not expecting them to just provide me with whatever I want and pay for additional items when they go food shopping. Well, in case you didn’t already guess, that’s not the case! The second I walked in the door with, mind you, two bags, the first comment I get thrown at me is, “You better not have bought anything that needs to be refrigerated because there is absolutely NO room for anything else.” Like holy shit, people, it’s not the end of the world if we have to rearrange a few things. I feel like I’m living with my psychotic roommates from junior year all over again who made me feel like an inmate in my own house, minus the bitchiness. This anecdote could be misconstrued as over dramatic, but I’m not exaggerating when I say my parents make comments like this all the time…

Not to keep talking about the kitchen, but it’s also frustrating that I want to make different dinners than what my parents make but it’s hard because 1) the kitchen is small, 2) my mom thinks it’s rude when I don’t want to have what she’s having, 3) I’m somehow always in their way even if I cook 2 hours after they do and 4) even if I do wait those 2 hours and cook myself a meal, the second I finish the last bite I can already hear my mom saying for the six hundredth time to clean up the kitchen. So, it’s not even enjoyable and I rarely do it.

Anyway, I realized I really took living at school for granted and didn’t realize how truly beautiful it was while it was happening. All those times I came home for a weekend, or even just a day- regrets!

Don’t get me wrong, I love my home and family. I mean it could definitely be way worse; but man, do I miss coming home after a long day and being able to just plop on my couch, catch up on social media, and relax without being interrogated as if I just committed a murder. “Why are you home so late?”, “Where were you?”, “Who were you with?”. Get the point? Sometimes I sit in my car for a few minutes outside of my house just to avoid 20 questions. And if it’s not the questions then it’s the repetitive, mundane comments like “Take your stuff up when you go up.” “Put your shoes on the steps.” “Hang your coat up” etc.

What I miss even more than coming home and not having to answer to anyone , is the people I was coming home to. Of course it’s nice being given the option to move home after college and not being forced to live on my own right away, but I miss having roommates my own age- people that have more common interests, like to gossip, and watch the same TV series. Not to mention, sometimes just wanting to drink a bottle of wine in the middle of the week for no reason. Although, I think I could easily persuade my mom into that one… she’s a good time.

Don’t even get me started on why living at home post grad is an obstacle and continuing struggle in the dating world, whether you’re in a relationship or not. You know what I’m getting at!

When it comes down to it, I really shouldn’t complain about living at home right now considering its dirt cheap, aka free, and I don’t have a whole lot of money especially after factoring in student loans; not to mention my constant, unsuccessful internet sourcing job search. But now I realize that paying rent pays for a lot more than just the literal roof over your head, electric, and gas- you’re paying for freedom and independence, a different and exciting lifestyle and an area more suitable for your job and/or social life.

So while everyone else on my Facebook feed is getting engaged, married and/or having babies, my only goal right now is to move out at my bank accounts earliest convenience. But until then, hopefully my parents don’t kick me out after reading this, and I can start saving up to make the move and truly experience my 20s!

 

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