Shaking The Sunday Scaries: Near Impossible 

If you’ve ever spent a night out drinking, chances are you’ve encountered the Sunday Scaries and have spent hours wishing them away. I’ve recently found out that not everyone is familiar with this exact term, but do know the feeling once it’s been explained. So instead of trying to define it in my own words, I’ve included two definitions from Urban Dictionary’s perspective, because I don’t think I could have explained it any better myself.

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In a nutshell, the Sunday Scaries are virtually the worst feeling in the world; anxiety times a thousand, feeling deathly ill and continuously going over your actions from the weekend in your head. Deleting conversations that shouldn’t have existed, avoiding your parents because you know they think you’re a degenerate, and chugging endless bottles of water in the hopes you can shake this awful feeling has become so routine. And although I know this is my fate after a night of binge drinking and my average resting heart rate probably won’t be lower than 115, I still do it anyway, and I don’t think I’ll ever learn.

While not only feeling regretful or sick, the hatred for your job sets in too. Questioning why you do what you do, wondering if there’s something better out there, and asking yourself if maybe you should have a different plan. Then another hefty question asks, “Do I really need this job?”, and the answer is probably yes, but you try to justify reasons behind not needing it to the point where you convince yourself you might actually not need it, but still wake up on Monday and go regardless.

But wait, it gets worse. Not only do you question your entire being all day long on Sunday, sometimes it carries over to Monday, which in my opinion, is worse than having the scaries on a Sunday. At least then you can lay around, allow in yourself to wallow in self pity from the comfort of your bed and forget that the rest of the world and your responsibilities exist. But on Monday? Nope. You have to leave the house, put on a fake smile and pretend that you’re not still thinking about some of the questionable decisions you made Saturday night, your diminishing bank account and who you drunk texted. Paranoid about almost everyone and everything that surrounds you, your heart just can’t relax. Then, aside from the lingering anxiety of your weekend actions, you start to worry about what’s going on right in front of you, “Did I remember to send that email? Do I have a meeting today? Is there something else I’m supposed to be doing?”. The questions in our heads don’t stop, and continue to torture us until we’re finally clocking out.

So to calm yourself down, while indirectly praying to God, you tell (promise) yourself that you’re not going to go out this weekend to take it easy, save money and be productive. And for the better part of the week, your plan is still intact. However, for me personally, this usually diminishes sometime after lunch on Friday and I begin to rationalize in my head why I deserve to go out; I just worked all week, I had minimal human contact other than my parents since Sunday, and I just got paid. Why wouldn’t I go out?

Then the cycle begins again either Friday night or all day Saturday, and I return to Sunday with the worst possible drinkers remorse and dread the thought of it being Monday. Then, before I know it, I’m sitting in my desk chair once again telling myself I’m going to take it easy next weekend.

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The 9-5 Sentence: The Truth Behind A Full-time Job

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Less than two months into my full-time job and I feel suffocated. Maybe suffocated isn’t the right word to use, but I feel trapped. There are only seven short days in a week and the average working person is expected to work for 8 or 9 hours during five of them. Which, in perspective may seem fair in regards to the paycheck, but when you think about how much can be done over the course of eight hours, or how much you can accomplish, you may begin to question why the standard work week has you grinding 9-5 Monday through Friday.

Regardless of the hours employees are expected to actually be at work, we can also factor in commute time to our respective workplaces. So now not only are we looking at 8-9 hours a day, we might be designating 9-11 hours to our work day. Maybe this a stretch, but it’s still something to think about considering the time you spend working per day is more time than you designate to yourself a day.

Furthermore, just thinking about how extensive eight hours actually is, we can begin to wonder what else we could be accomplishing during this time frame; laundry, cleaning, errands, working out, binge watching- an episode on Netflix is only 43 minutes…

An alternative way that the corporate world could employ could be by giving each employee a set of tasks that need to be completed in a given week, giving them 40 hours to complete the task and being able to finish before the 40 hours is up; rather than judging a full work week on how many hours an employee sits on their ass in front of a computer screen. Because let’s be honest, we all have times throughout the week we find ourselves just staring at the clock, waiting for that eighth hour to roll around enabling us to clock out.

And before you begin to think I’m naïve, just know I fully understand that this is just how the working world is, and I accept it. It’s just interesting to analyze the mundane, routineness that surrounds it. In a way, I appreciate it too since it pays the bills, but would I rather be working from my home? Yes, and I’m super jealous of those who have the opportunity to do just that. Which brings me to my next point, why can’t most people in the corporate setting work from home?

For those who sit behind two screens all day, you can probably agree that most of your work could be conducted from the comfort of your home since all you really need is the internet and a computer, and maybe a phone. I condone businesses that allow their employees the flexibility of this work style, and encourage others to do the same. But what really raises questions for me, is when businesses allow employees who are sick to work from home, or require their employees to work from home on snow days- this is a dead giveaway that working from home is possible and can be done.

To top this all off, after working ex amount of hours a day, by the time you get home there isn’t much energy left to get anything done. Then before you know it, you’re hitting the hay to recharge your batteries and start the same routine tomorrow. I now understand why everyone lives for Fridays; they are extremely crucial to the happiness and well being of us young, 20 something year olds.

I know that I’m doomed to the 9-5 sentence for life, but that’s just how the world works. And I knew that by choosing to go to school for something in the corporate field, I had already fallen victim to this life, but I’ll accept if for as long as the paychecks keep coming. Hopefully one day I can escape this mandated schedule and find a job where I make my own schedule, be the one who makes the schedule or even better, can work from the comfort of my own home, on my own time.

Does College Groom You To Become A Professional Bullshitter?

Not only in regards to work ethic, college has groomed us to become professional bullshitters in everyday life. Whether it’s pretending to know what you’re talking about at work or lying to your parents about your ‘good’ financial standing in order to justify your degenerate weekend habits, we’ve all become really, scarily good at pretending, lying and fabricating.

Driving home from work one night last week, I heard the latest way college students are sliding by and continuing to do the bare minimum. Coming up short for a lengthy essay? Write in a bunch of random words at the end, make them the smallest font size possible and change the font color to white. Apparently you can cut out a significant amount of those required words.

Half the battle in college, particularly dealing with presentations, is acting like you know what you’re talking about, being confident, sounding educated and not seeming nervous or flustered. Not much has changed from college to work. Whenever I’m asked a question I’m unsure of, or just not completely positive, I just nod my head with reassurance that I comprehend it and am in the loop. However, 80% of the time, as soon as someone walks away I’m breaking into a panic in my head, fingers are going 100 mph on the keyboard, searching for something relevant to the topic, attempting to figure it out. It’s all about playing it cool. I came across this meme on Twitter and found it so fitting for this post.

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And even when you know you’re doing something wrong, or outside your scope of work at the office, you always have a back-up plan, or response, in case you get caught. For example, printing personal stuff, browsing through social media or online shopping, there is always a part of you that is playing devil’s advocate, brainstorming ways to BS your way out of the potential situation of being caught.

Furthermore, when it comes to discussion board posts or papers, sometimes all you have to do is ramble on and on until you convince someone else, or even yourself, that you’re making sense and telling the truth. Similarly to small talk at the office, when someone asks how your weekend was, you’re obviously not going to respond with, “Omg so much fun, I blacked out in the city with my friends, spent most of my time recovering in my bed and virtually achieved nothing productive.” So, you simply say, “It was really good, super relaxing, how about yours?”

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This also occurs when my parents question my spending habits on the weekends. “I thought you were trying to be more conservative with your money and spend less?” Casually, I respond with something similar to, “Yeah I am, I picked up a babysitting shift so I haven’t really touched my paycheck yet.” Half truth, half lie, but I have to keep the bullshit coming especially when it comes to money to avoid a row with my parents, and also myself. Sadly, I think I internally lie to myself about my ridiculous spending habits on unnecessary clothes, food & alcohol. But I forgive myself.

We bullshit through everyday interfaces as well; whether you run into someone randomly and say you’re doing good, even though you might be having a shitty day, you justify buying that $20 pair of shoes because you didn’t spend as much as you anticipated over the weekend, or tell your parents you only had 1 – 2 drinks at happy hour after work, we are bullshitters.

Will we ever get to do something with substance, or are we doomed to a life of bullshit?