Your Setback Is The Platform For Your Comeback

It’s been one year since graduation, and I’m more unsure than ever of what my future holds. Crossing the stage, receiving my diploma I didn’t know what to look forward to, but after many setbacks this past year, it’s becoming more of a realization that life is just full of the unknown and it’s completely out of our control. Setbacks are a part of everyday life; whether they stem from anxiety, missed opportunity, hasty decisions, bad decisions, or the trials and tribulations of human life, they happen, and sometimes all we can do is embrace the mess and stay hopeful.

This year hasn’t exactly been easy, and at times I’ve truly doubted my abilities and worth. Anyone who has had to experience job searching post-grad can understand what I’m referring to. The time and energy we can spend applying for positions, the majority of them just being for the hell of it, usually lead us nowhere- not even a call back. So, maybe we thought finding a job would be easier, but we’ve come to know that even landing an interview can be an obstacle, or a setback.

Sometimes I’ve been presented opportunities that I’ve ran from or turned down because of my anxiety- anxiety regarding irrational things or petty fears, but if you’ve read the last two posts before this, you’ll know that anxiety is no joke and can sometimes cause self-inflicted restrictions that aren’t easy to settle. Although I’m dealing with these things day by day, it’s still caused setbacks.

Decision making can be tough, especially when it deals with life changing choices and not just deciding between which bars to go to this weekend. Making hasty decisions can lead to setbacks, because most of the time, it’ll be the wrong choice. It’s important to weight out the pros and cons of every choice before finalizing, but we’re only human and sometimes we trust our initial instincts more than we should.

Realizing you went to school for something completely uninteresting to you- setback; time to apply for grad school!

Having to live at home longer than you wished or thought you would have to- setback.

Still driving the car you drove in high school because your “adult job” salary can’t afford you to upgrade- setback.

Got laid off due to something completely out of your control- setback. 

Unfortunately, we are all just dealt a shit hand on occasion. We can work as hard as we can and still come up short. We’re put in situations that we’re forced to remove ourselves from, even when they just put us right back where we started.

It can often feel like we’re not progressing, achieving or experiencing, but that’s not true. Everyone has a different route to take, some may take longer to get to their destination, but we’ll all get to where we want to be. But guess what? I have no idea exactly where I’m going, and I’m okay with that. Life is constantly recalculating our plans with unexpected setbacks; whether it is you lose your job, the person you thought you would spend your life with ends the relationship, you get pregnant, you fail your program, someone gets sick, you get transferred out of state- the list goes on and on. But maybe that’s the point, right? Facing challenges, dealing with unexpectedness and tackling these problems every day is what we’re equipped for as humans. Nothing ever goes as planned, but that’s the exciting part of life, anything can happen- good or bad- and we just have to embrace it.

So don’t cry over spilled milk, just clean it up and pour another glass because something great is waiting to happen. But if we dwell on all of the annoyances in life, we’re just prolonging the destination.

Advertisements

Shaking The Sunday Scaries: Near Impossible 

If you’ve ever spent a night out drinking, chances are you’ve encountered the Sunday Scaries and have spent hours wishing them away. I’ve recently found out that not everyone is familiar with this exact term, but do know the feeling once it’s been explained. So instead of trying to define it in my own words, I’ve included two definitions from Urban Dictionary’s perspective, because I don’t think I could have explained it any better myself.

And

In a nutshell, the Sunday Scaries are virtually the worst feeling in the world; anxiety times a thousand, feeling deathly ill and continuously going over your actions from the weekend in your head. Deleting conversations that shouldn’t have existed, avoiding your parents because you know they think you’re a degenerate, and chugging endless bottles of water in the hopes you can shake this awful feeling has become so routine. And although I know this is my fate after a night of binge drinking and my average resting heart rate probably won’t be lower than 115, I still do it anyway, and I don’t think I’ll ever learn.

While not only feeling regretful or sick, the hatred for your job sets in too. Questioning why you do what you do, wondering if there’s something better out there, and asking yourself if maybe you should have a different plan. Then another hefty question asks, “Do I really need this job?”, and the answer is probably yes, but you try to justify reasons behind not needing it to the point where you convince yourself you might actually not need it, but still wake up on Monday and go regardless.

But wait, it gets worse. Not only do you question your entire being all day long on Sunday, sometimes it carries over to Monday, which in my opinion, is worse than having the scaries on a Sunday. At least then you can lay around, allow in yourself to wallow in self pity from the comfort of your bed and forget that the rest of the world and your responsibilities exist. But on Monday? Nope. You have to leave the house, put on a fake smile and pretend that you’re not still thinking about some of the questionable decisions you made Saturday night, your diminishing bank account and who you drunk texted. Paranoid about almost everyone and everything that surrounds you, your heart just can’t relax. Then, aside from the lingering anxiety of your weekend actions, you start to worry about what’s going on right in front of you, “Did I remember to send that email? Do I have a meeting today? Is there something else I’m supposed to be doing?”. The questions in our heads don’t stop, and continue to torture us until we’re finally clocking out.

So to calm yourself down, while indirectly praying to God, you tell (promise) yourself that you’re not going to go out this weekend to take it easy, save money and be productive. And for the better part of the week, your plan is still intact. However, for me personally, this usually diminishes sometime after lunch on Friday and I begin to rationalize in my head why I deserve to go out; I just worked all week, I had minimal human contact other than my parents since Sunday, and I just got paid. Why wouldn’t I go out?

Then the cycle begins again either Friday night or all day Saturday, and I return to Sunday with the worst possible drinkers remorse and dread the thought of it being Monday. Then, before I know it, I’m sitting in my desk chair once again telling myself I’m going to take it easy next weekend.