Will Life Always Be A Series of Likes? 

Driving in my car the other day, I heard a statistic on the radio that surprised me, or more so, startled me. The statistic read that ‘social media is currently more utilized and active within adults ages 35-49, as opposed to the assumed adult group of ages 20-34.’ After graduating college and entering the adult world, I thought I was exiting the realm of constant and endless refreshing, irrelevant posts, and giving a like for a like. But maybe, it seems, I’m just entering.

As much as we don’t want to admit it, we spend an unhealthy amount of time on various social media accounts such as Facebook and Instagram. It could be classified as a hobby for some of us if you want get technical because by definition, a hobby is an activity done regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure. You know what they say, if the shoe fits. And as much as I personally try to devote less time to scrolling through Instagram and looking at the same set of pictures I just saw 5 seconds ago, or watching my friend’s snap chat stories (usually not even paying attention to what I’m watching but just clicking it so it clears from my stories list), I fall victim into black hole of social media.

Perhaps hobby wasn’t even the right word for describing what kind of activity social media is for some people, but maybe it’s a habit. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve thought to myself “Okay, time to get up and get stuff done, stop looking at your phone” and then without even thinking, I’m right back to scrolling through Twitter or watching a Tasty video on Facebook that I’ll never attempt to try.

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with social media- I’m an avid Tweeter, Gramer, Chatter, and Booker, but after this statistic it’s alarming to think that maybe we won’t grow out of this phase and life doesn’t get more exciting as we get older.

My friend, Dee, sent me a screen shot of a tweet she came across that read, “Sooo do I just randomly decide to be an adult one day and delete Twitter or am I gonna be 40 tweeting about my annoying daughter or what”. This woman’s thoughts on the correlation between age and social media hinders why I’m questioning the same topic.

In recent years, Facebook has become more than just a social media site and evolved into more of a foundation on how to keep updated on people’s lives, but more precisely, meaningful things happening in people’s lives like marriages, babies, graduations, and even deaths, unfortunately. This social media site in particular is also probably more often utilized by adults 40 and over, who may not have the time to catch up with everyone of their friends and family on a daily basis, and it provides a good way to stay informed about happenings within the lives of those people you’ve grown apart from, but still care about. So, Facebook, you get a free pass.

On the contrary, Snap Chat is most definitely primarily a younger market, and serves absolutely no purpose. I definitely indulge in using my snap chat story way too often, but when will I stop? At what age does it become too immature and redundant? How many meals can we post on our stories until we realize that no one actually cares, or when will we stop posting ten second long videos of us and our friends that, other than the people involved, no one else has any idea what’s happening. Or when will we realize that we all have cameras on our phones that can take pictures that last longer than 24 hours? (And probably provide better quality, especially if you have an Android).

Instagram is probably my favorite social media site to use right now, because I like looking at really cool pictures of different people’s vacations or artsy photos or just pictures when people look to be their best selves. And of course the memes! But something that I do notice that I ‘m tired of seeing is girls posting selfies with an irrelevant caption,  “throwbacks” from 2 months ago, and degrading or uneducated posts, usually regarding politics, because I think that’s meant for Twitter.

Twitter is useful for different things like promotions, businesses, politics, news, and much more. I think it’s something I’ll probably always use, but when do we stop tweeting things about our own life? When’s that cut off between using it to obtain information about things other than our friends, and use it as a mature adult trying to stay informed about things happening around the world?

Like I said, I don’t think social media is a bad thing, I just think it takes up too much of our time, and how our time could be used towards so much more. I also don’t know when it changes for us. When will it not be all about how many likes you get on a post? When will it not be all about how many favorites or re-tweets it gets? When will we start liking pictures because we actually like them, and not just because we feel obligated? When will we unfriend or unfollow people we added while drunk at a party one night and play absolutely any relevance in our lives?

Social media is definitely important, I especially know that from having my degree in Marketing, but when will our lives stop revolving around it?

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Peace On Earth, Good Will To Men

As the holidays are coming to an end and a new year approaches, I’m realizing how I have so much to be thankful for between friends and family, even if I still haven’t found that full time job yet and am drowning in a sea of debt! (On a bittersweet note, to touch on my last post about hiring managers, a few companies did finally reach out to me, letting me know I will not be moving up in the hiring process. If you read my last post, you’ll know why I feel that’s bittersweet).

Driving home from babysitting the night before Christmas Eve, I found myself realizing how different the holidays are as we get older- Perhaps how much more appreciative we are as we get older- and how my reasons for loving Christmas has changed.

When I was younger, even in high school, and if I’m being completely honest, most of college, I used to look so forward to what I was opening on Christmas morning, how much money I would have after the holiday, and what the plans were for Christmas Eve and Day shenanigans.  And I think that when we’re young it’s okay to have our main concern aimed at what we’re getting for Christmas, it’s almost as if it’s our unwritten right to be selfish as kids this time of year. However, this year was different; I didn’t give much thought to what was going to be underneath the tree Christmas morning, but more so how the time would be spent leading up to December 25th.

Reflecting on this, I also realize that there aren’t many materialistic things I want or even concrete things that my parents could wrap up and put under the tree. Unrealistically, I would like my student loans to disappear, to be anxiety free, and a JOB. Santa??

Anyway, my sister who’s been in England since August returned home to celebrate the holidays with us which was a priceless gift for everyone in our family, one in which I know we’re all happy about. Knowing that we’re all in good health is also a gift to be appreciative of, as well as having a nice roof over our heads. Cliché and a bit cheesy, but you all know it’s true. These are things I know I should be unconditionally grateful for year round, but the holidays really highlight how special certain things can be, even the simplest factors of very day life.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, a poet from Cambridge, Massachusetts, wrote a very thoughtful and meaningful poem in 1863 during the Civil War, which is now composed into many renditions of one of my favorite Christmas songs, Christmas Bells. Specifically the rendition done by John Gorka. It’s beautiful, meaningful, and instils in you the true meaning of Christmas- a time to be joyous, thankful, and selfless.

Recently I read an article written in 1990 titled, Why I Hate Christmas, and as scrooge sounding as it was, everything the man wrote was true! Although I agree with some of the things he talked about were true, he did not sway my opinion to hate Christmas. Think about how strongly the holidays effect our economy between the extravagant gifts, abundant amount of gifts, money spent on holiday parties-both food and alcohol costs- decorations, lights, cards, wrapping paper, travel costs, etc. It’s scary to think about most department stores make two fifths of their profit in the few short weeks of the Christmas season. And although this results positively for our country’s economy,  all of that excess spending could be put to better use, especially around the holidays, for the kids who get nothing instead of buying another gift for someone who had everything- for example, donating to charities. Furthermore, instead of spending in a charitable way, we could even donate time to volunteer services.

Maybe if we thought less about the materialistic aspects of the holiday, more people would appreciate the Christmas season itself, resulting in less stress and pressure on parents, loved ones, and friends to find the “perfect” gift, and everyone’s gift to each other could just be the time spent together.

Spending time with my family and friends this past week has been great, but I still have the post-grad scaries that creep up on me in the quiet of the crowd. Being aware of the fact that my student loans most definitely kick in in two months from now is enough to make my heart stop, so the job search is in full force as I enter 2017. Although there are many things happening that stress me out and make me sick, the things I do have to be grateful for and enjoy, definitely outweigh them! So, for now I’m going to relax, enjoy myself, and pray that this will actually be the best year yet.

Merry Christmas and A Happy New  Year!

 

 

 

Post Grad Dating

If you thought finding a boyfriend in college was hard, you’re obviously still in college because trying to find a boyfriend once you’ve graduated is near impossible.
In college you’re constantly being exposed to new people, even if none of them fit your criteria for prince charming, at least you’ve got options. Once you’ve graduated, a lot of these outlets for meeting people disappear; so how’s a gal supposed to find a boyfriend now? The options don’t seem too promising: you can start dating one of your friends, hope to be introduced to a friend of a friend, meet someone randomly at a bar, or resort to apps like Tinder and Bumble. Neither of these options guarantees you’ll end up with a winner either.

Most of my guy friends would probably make great boyfriends, but that doesn’t mean I want them to be my boyfriend. We’ve gone through a lot together and that isn’t necessarily a great foundation for a new romance. I don’t need my boyfriend and potential husband knowing all of the dumb things I’ve done over the years.

Another con of dating one of your friends is upsetting the balance of your friend group. What happens when you fight or god forbid break up? You have to be prepared to be exiled from that friend group; worst case scenario or best case scenario, you share the friend group and alternate weekends out like the child of divorced parents. I won’t even suggest you both stay in the friend group because that’s just awkward and torturous for all parties involved. Some people are just better off as friends.

Possibly the most promising of the post grad options for meeting a man is through a friend of a friend, but this also leaves the most up to chance. Friends of friends can be a great resource for post grad dating. In my eyes it would be ideal to date a friend’s friend. You don’t have to worry about your date being a serial killer and they’re far enough removed from your life to not know too many dirty details.

The only kink in this plan is that it depends explicitly on your friends having other friends that you’d want to date. First, you need the friend with suitable friends, then you need them to make the introduction, then you need the guy not to be a weirdo. It’s a delicate situation, especially if it turns out that you don’t like the person all that much, you risk offending your friend.

Before going away to college was the norm, people pretty much depended on meeting their spouses randomly. My parents met at a bar, my dad and his buddies went to my grandparent’s house the next day for a barbecue and the rest was history. I can’t even put into words how strange I would find it if someone I met at a bar wanted to come to my parents house the very next day. It’s not hard to start talking to someone you don’t know at a bar, but it can be risky. You never know who you’re talking to; is this guy going to be the answer to your prayers or is he going to unwantedly follow you around for the rest of the night. Even less likely that you’ll find a potential suitor at a bar, imagine meeting a stranger at a coffee shop. I can’t help but think about how utterly strange that would be not to mention unlikely.

Thankfully apps like Tinder and Bumble let you be proactive in post grad dating so you don’t have to hold your breath for coffee shop guy. However, finding someone you’d even consider boyfriend material on these apps is like finding a diamond in the rough. You’ve got to be persistent, you’ve got to have patience and you’ve got to use up a lot of data every month. So you swipe for what seems like eternity, send out a few messages and then wait. Getting an answer is only half of the battle though because from there you have to materialize a conversation out of thin air. If the connection is there you can take the relationship off of Bumble and eventually into real life. Just be prepared to tell everyone you encounter for the rest of your life a fake story about how you met, perhaps at a coffee shop?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned since graduation, it’s that I don’t want to settle for anything, especially not for a love interest. Sure my contestant pool took a devastating loss after graduation, but that just means I’ll be more likely to recognize and commit to a good thing when its right in front of me. In college it was hard to keep someone’s interest, now it’s hard to even find someone worth interesting. Post grad dating is basically a waiting game. Wait for one of your friends to express interest, wait to get introduced to somebody, wait to meet someone randomly, wait for him to message you back on Bumble. As much as I want this waiting game to be over, at least the few prospects I have now are keeping me entertained.

Good luck out there ladies.