101 Questions You Need to Ask in Your Twenties: What Am I Doing Now?

Long time supporter of Paul Angone’s writing and voice to those feeling lost in their twenties, I’m no less pleased with his latest release, 101 Questions You Need to Ask in Your Twenties!

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Sometimes we need to hear the harsh truth of reality when facing life’s continuous obstacles, sometimes we need to hear others share their real-life stories to be able to relate, and sometimes, we need to reflect on our own life to be able to better ourselves and increase our happiness and well-being, which is exactly what Paul’s new book provides.

If you’ve never read any of Paul’s previous publishing’s, I highly encourage you to do so, but if you have, you’ll know that his style of writing is relate able, humorous and helpful in times when we can’t always see the light at the end of the tunnel.

101 Questions is an integrated guidebook for those in their twenties, an uphill battle that feels almost impossible to win at times. But as an advocate for the millennial generation, Paul poses questions that we’re all thinking in our heads, and some that we’ve never thought to ask but should.

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Whether you’re an avid reader or a read a book once a year kind of person, this book suits you. Even more, it seems to be targeted for those in their twenties, but Angone also makes a note that this book can be beneficial for those of you in your thirties and beyond as well. The lay out and design of this book make it super easy to read fairly quickly but also provides the opportunity to just read specific chapters if you wish, as you don’t necessarily need to read every chapter to be able to get to the end. ( You should read every chapter though because they’re all super insightful!) This set up is similar to his first book that was published, 101 Secrets for Your Twenties, which is when I first found hope for my post-grad life through Paul’s voice and writing.

In the opening introduction, there’s a statement that resonates so well with me, it’s uncanny; and for those of you who have followed me along on this blog, I’m sure you can feel the same. Paul writes in relation to the plunge after college graduation, “I felt confused, afraid, and alone-those visions of making a difference while making a lot of money quickly changing into just making it through another day. In these dark halls, I’d occasionally bump into other twenty-somethings, clearly as confused as me and muttering, I don’t belong here.

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Paul’s vision of what he imagined life after college to look like is probably similar to what all emerging graduates expect. But the harsh reality is that 9 times out of 10, it’s not and it’s up to us to work hard, persevere and have faith that things will work out.

I think that Paul’s approach in this book to stimulate us to reflect and questions ourselves as a way to achieve a fulfilled life and overcome obstacles is genius. Although his other books provided great insight and advice on adulthood, this one focuses more on who we are on a more personal level and what we can do to change.

The questions are categorized into four sections throughout the book which include:

  • Adulting to win: Thriving in the big picture and small details of adulthood.
  • Careerish: How to build a career that is meaningful (while making you money).
  • Relationshipping: Dating, marriage, networking, friendship, mentoring, oh my!
  • Signature Sauce: Uncovering where your passion, purpose, and calling collide.

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With all of that being said, some of my favorite questions from his new release that really got me thinking have been dispersed through picture within this review.

I encourage you all to read this book, use this book, and recommend this book because the community of confused millennial’s, lost post-grads, and worried adults is larger than we can even begin to know. But being a part of, or having a sense of community along this bumpy journey is something that everyone could use whether they realize it or not.

Below, I have provided various links to which you can purchase this book. Please share any and all content relating to the book whether it be this review, someone else’s review, posting pictures of your book, or even writing your own review!

** If you order from Moody Publishers use the coupon code: Questions40 to receive 40%off PLUS free shipping on orders of $25 or more.**

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, I can’t wait for another book of thoughts from Paul Angone!

Moody Publishers

Target

Barnes and Noble

 

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The Random Things That Make My Weeks More Exciting

When working in a structured 9-5 schedule day in and day out, sometimes the days can become mundane and repetitive, almost like a merry-go-round. Aside from the weekends, you most likely do the same thing everyday from the time you wake up until the time it’s time to recharge your batteries again. For me, I typically come home from work and either do laundry, clean, occasionally go to the gym, and by occasionally I mean never, read, blog, watch TV, etc. Nothing too crazy.

But, sometimes during the week, there are small things I tend to get excited about and that’s what I want to write about today. It’s a snow day here in Philly and I have nothing but time on my hands, so here it goes.

1. Giveaways & Promos

In the blogging community, whether you’re a part of a structured organization of bloggers, or you just have your own community through your growing following, you often stumble across really cool deals, opportunities and promos.

Yesterday,  one of the blogs I follow along had a promo code up for a free trial for Rocksbox.com which I had never heard of but it’s similar to Ipsy and Birchbox but for jewelry! So, I’m waiting for my free package in the mail now, I’ll let you guys know how it goes! I’m also going to try and snag a free code for you guys too!

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2. Book launch team for one of your favorite authors? Say no more

This could have happened with or without my blog advantages, but I’m super excited about this. Paul Angone, author of 101 Secrets for your Twenties and All Groan Up, which I have featured on my blog previously, is releasing a new book in April titled 101 Questions for Your Twenties.

I was selected to be a apart of this book launch team along with 200 other fans and readers as we are awaiting our free copy in the mail! After reading, we will review the book on various platforms such as Amazon and Google reads as well as share on our social media. I will definitely putting s full in-depth review up on my site for everyone!

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3. Finding a face mask that actually works at a very reasonable price

I’ve been shopping at Bed, Bath & Beyond for any and all toiletries, as well  as make-up recently, because their prices are so low for the same products I would typically buy at Target for full-price. Not to mention, they ALWAYS have coupons either for $5 of $15 or 20%off your order.

The winter has not been great for my skin so I’ve been on the hunt for a weekly face mask to help and I have finally found a winner! In addition to the mask, the face wash I bought has been a god send too. Both are photographed below!

4. Who doesn’t love free iced-coffee?

I’ll admit, everything about the Dunkin’ Donuts app is irritating anymore, but sometimes, it’s worth the hassle.

I’ve been receiving free beverages based on a point system, I received a free one for my birthday, and using the On-the-Go Mobile Ordering on the days off Flyers or Sixers games is worth it for $1 medium iced-coffees!

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So, maybe try the app again and save yourself some money. Those iced-coffees really do add up.

5. Snow day: no work and all pay

As I said before, it was a snow day in Philly. Yesterday was my birthday so I was able to go out and celebrate last night without worrying about setting an alarm for this morning. And the best part? It’s a paid day off & it might even be happening again tomorrow!

 

Cheers!

 

Job Interviews: Why They Can Be Awkward, Stressful and Disappointing

Interviews typically happen in different stages; phone, in person and follow-up. In some cases, the company may just require a one time meet and greet, others can be more extensive. I’ve been through them all multiple times and can say with full confidence that every one is different. And to be even more direct, some are just really fuckin’ weird.

I’ve heard horror stories, and also witnessed some, so I wanted to talk about some of my experiences on here and reiterate that I didn’t let these rare occurrences discourage me from continuing my job search.

Over the summer, I had applied to what seemed like a really modern and upcoming marketing firm, and was super excited to get a call back that they wanted to conduct a phone interview.

Now, in the past, the phone interviews I’ve been selected for basically consisted of the representative of the company providing more information about the company and position, as well as some general questions such as, “Where have you been working since graduation?”, “What provoked you to apply for this position?”, “Do you have experience?”, etc. The conversation is generally short and they do most of the talking.

So, when I picked up the phone for this interview, I was a little thrown off when there were three other people on the other end.

It began quite normal for the first few minutes until they threw curve ball at me asking for my criticism in regards to their Instagram page. Luckily, I had checked their page out prior to the interview, but how are you supposed to respond to a potential employer when they ask for your honest feedback on their work?

To be honest, I thought maybe it was a trick question so I tried responding with a double-sided answer subtly, but they didn’t like my response. I don’t even remember how I worded it but basically I told them that they had good content but too many posts with just quotes and words.

Don’t ask for criticism if you can’t accept it.

Then they continued to ask what brands I followed on Instagram. I was stumped. I mostly follow friends, families and select celebrities and maybe one or two clothing stores that post frequently about sales.

At this point I couldn’t wait to get off of this call and luckily, it didn’t go much further.

About a month later I received another call for an in-person interview at a different company for the position of a Marketing Assistant. The only thing on my mind after leaving was: pyramid scheme.

Walking into their lobby, something immediately felt off as they were blasting techno music at 9 AM on a Monday and the first thing you see walking in is a ping pong table.

The interviewer came out, greeted me and escorted me to a room with nothing inside with the exception a table and two chairs. I felt like I was in an interrogation room.

The interview lasted maybe under 10 minutes and he didn’t once ask me anything about myself or my background, yet thought I was a “great candidate for the role” and asked me to come back again tomorrow for a second round of interviewing.

After he basically sugar coated that this was a door to door sales role and began talking about some irrelevant YouTube video, I knew I was never coming back. There were red flags everywhere.

Although I was desperate for a job, I wasn’t this desperate.

The third one I want to talk about was when I interviewed for an Administrative Assistant position in a corporate headquarters for a bank. I didn’t even remember I had applied because at this point in my job search I was just shooting out resumes everywhere, I couldn’t keep track of who I was sending them to anymore.

The woman who called me basically hyped me up primarily only talking about the pay and benefits, which were extremely enticing. And although she thought I was great candidate for this position, the two women I interviewed with 2 weeks later in person, did not.

It was an extremely awkward interview followed by two written tests which I was not forewarned about. Definitely bombed the one.

There were a few more interviews that followed that last one which were all relatively normal but required more experience than I had, but it’s okay because I persevered and found the position I’m currently in now and I’m very appreciative.

Lesson learned that you’re not going to land every job you interview for and sometimes, you probably luck out by not getting the job. If there are obvious red flags from the start, don’t take it and get yourself into something not worth your time, there’s always going to be something better down the road.

In addition, there are some really useful tips and advice for interviewing on the internet and my best advice is to just be prepared, research the company you’re applying to, print your resume prior to the interview, over dress, and most importantly, be yourself.

Good luck to anyone going through this frustrating process, it will be worth it in the end!

 

 

 

 

 

College Life to Mom Life

I remember being so jealous of Maureen’s life in Los Angeles, it was the definition of living vicariously through someone.

She was studying at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising (where LC went for any Hills fans), living in an apartment building with a roof top pool, meeting celebrities like Mariah Carey, partying at high end clubs, and working in fashion day in and day out. She was living out my sixteen year old dreams that were based off of Lauren Conrad, and as her best friend, I couldn’t have been more happy.

 

During college, as well as after she moved home too, Maureen was presented with various experiences, tribulations and opportunities. Although our undergrad years were drastically different, post grad life hit us like a brick wall.

‘What now?’

That haunting question that keeps you up at night, the one that is impossible to silence, struck Maureen upon moving home to Philly.

While reflecting back on what her initial expectations were for life after college, she notes that she thought it consisted of “freedom, partying and doing whatever you want, which does happen during a short window of time, but reality hits when you’re back living with your parents, loans kick in and you’re basically forced to find a full-time job. You have to grow up really quick.”

Stress is something that is inevitable for all of us, and Maureen often finds herself stressing over is being too hard on herself even when she realizes she shouldn’t be. On a more professional level, she stresses about not being in complete control which is why she hopes to one day be her own boss.

And speaking of stress, she advises all soon-to-be grads, to NOT stress and cherish the last moments of college life and have fun. “Whatever you’re stressing about will eventually be over with sooner or later. Don’t worry about getting your dream job right away. Do what works for the time being and the right job will come at the right time.”

So now three years out of college, Maureen has not only found the right job, she found her dream job: becoming a mom, which she comments is both the toughest and most rewarding job in the world.

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When talking about parenthood, I asked Maureen if she felt that others view her only as a mom now and no other role, and she responded by saying, “Yes and no. I think more so yes for those who don’t know me very well. I think people innocently assume that moms are just moms because they might not know any better. They assume that your life only consists of your child, which is pretty accurate because your child will always be your whole life, but they have no idea what you do outside of your kids. Some are so quick to assume that moms do nothing but be moms. I think being a young mom makes it harder for people not to judge me. Age is just a number, your actions show the kind of mother you are. I defy this stereotype by just being myself. I still do the things I want to when I can and it works. My boyfriend and I are truly an amazing team. Without someone by your side who truly loves you, parenting would be a completely different ball game.”

I admire and respect Maureen for balancing everything she does. While living in New York she had the opportunity to work for Armani, now she works at a high-end bridal boutique in Philadelphia which she comments on and says, “it’s a different side of the industry that I never saw myself falling into but I enjoy being able to be a part of a girls big day and helping them feel their best, it’s a rewarding job.”

On top of working and being a mom, I don’t know how she balances it all but she does and hats off to her for it. I can barely balance my life and I have significantly less responsibilities! Addmittedly, Maureen finds herself frustrated sometimes that she isn’t able to work out as much she would like to and not always being able to follow through on personal goals.But I know that when the weather is nice, she loves walking as much a possible with her daughter, Ava!

As I said in the beginning of this post, I was so obsessed with Maureen’s life while she was living in L.A. and I can confidently say I’m obsessed with her life now too. She has found something some people never find: true love. Not just with her boyfriend but in her daughter, too.

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The future is never clear, and sometimes it presents obstacles, but it can also present opportunities.

Post grad life for Maureen is going pretty well, I’d say. She has a job she’s passionate about, a supporting family, and the most beautiful daughter who is so full of life and love, it’s hard not to be jealous.

I want to finish by including some words of advice from Maureen that seem to be a similar response for those doing these posts. Every response I’ve gotten holds the central theme I’ve created for this blog.

“Be yourself and never doubt it. If you are still figuring yourself out that is okay too. Embrace it, it is okay to not always know the answers to everything or how you feel about everything. Whatever you do, do not let others mold you. You will get lost. Stop caring about what other people think.  People are always going to talk no matter what, thinking about it solves nothing. Do you and don’t look back!! You’ll be happy when your older and can say I didn’t give a shit what people thought of me!  Lastly, as cliche as it sounds, follow your heart. So many people our age feel obligated to get that big job or buy a car or even a house. Do what feels right. You might find a job you love that has absolutely nothing to do with what you went to school for. Does it make you happy? If it does, then that’s all that matters. Life really is simple if you take a step back sometimes. Don’t get caught up in the drama of what you think you should do, do what you WANT to do!’
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Side Hustles: Why You Should Have One

I first heard the term ‘side hustle’ while reading Ann Shoket’s millennial guiding book, The Big Life  , and it’s a term that has stuck with me since then. Typically, a side hustle is a way of earning extra cash outside of your primary income, which I think is great and incredibly smart and responsible especially for those of us in our early stages of adulthood without the responsibility of kids or running a household. However, Shoket has her own terms and conditions surrounding this term that seems to be on the rise.

Get a Side-Hustle. The idea that one job can be your everything feels so dated, doesn’t it? Sometimes you need a day job that pays the bills or gives you security, even if it doesn’t feed your soul. That’s when you need a side-hustle—a project you work on to put yourself in charge or build new skills in your career. This is how you pay yourself in self-respect.”

I think the idea of this is incredibly inspiring, especially in today’s society, and urge all of you to give this some serious consideration.

I, myself, do have an actual side hustle in it’s truest form, a second job at a local restaurant and brewery, that provides me extra cash outside of my bi-weekly paycheck from my 9-5. Which is awesome considering the loans that need to be paid off, the monthly bills, attempting to lease a car, and all other expenses life has to drown us in.

Even though that side hustle was intended for its primary purpose, it’s turned into much more than that because I genuinely like what I do when I go there and I’ve also made so many new friendships.

So, if you’re contemplating finding your side hustle but hesitant because you might just feel like it will make you more miserable than your existing job while also taking time away from leisure activities, find something that works for you; try different roles out, or, best case scenario, find a way to make money off of something you already love doing.

This recommendation brings me to my next point of my other side hustle, the one not entirely intended for extra cash.

I started this blog about 18 months ago and I’ve watched it progressively grow which has been super rewarding in regards to many aspects. In contrast to my side hustle that compensates my bank account, maintaining this website compensates areas of my life that lack substance. It helps me improve my writing skills, enhances my time management and organization, provides insights into social media and sharing, and pays me in self-respect. This website is minimally profitable, but with more views I get, the more money I potentially earn. 

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I’ve read that other people’s side hustles often include playing music in clubs, dog walking, organizing book clubs, life coaching, and blogging, among other things.

Sometimes our jobs, especially early on in our career can leave us feeling undervalued, bored and passionless. Finding a side hustle can help with all of that.

We all have hobbies, so why not find a way to turn the things you’re passionate about into profit or productivity? And even if that’s not possible, it’s nice to work at things that make you feel good, inspire you and reward you in different ways.

If you do have an existing side hustle, comment below, I’m interested to hear different answers! Cheers!

 

An Almost Post Grad Life: Grad School

A huge part of why I originally started this blog was for the intended purpose of others to be able to share their thoughts and experiences associated with post-grad life, not just my own.

I’ve recently been collecting statements, anecdotes and opinions of other 20somethings floating around adulthood to showcase how even though we all live different lives, the similarities we face as millennials are startlingly similar.

I selected people based on different demographics including age, sex, employment, fields of study, line of work and geographical region. This post will be the first of many in a mini series and I’m excited to share with all of you my findings as well as my thoughts! Enjoy.


Jill is currently a Speech Pathology Graduate student at The University of Pittsburgh with only three short months until graduation. When reflecting on her time in grad school, as well as undergrad, she came to a bizarre realization that once she completes this degree, she’ll have spent a total of twenty years as a student. She says, “it’s exciting but also very daunting to think about finally entering the real world.”

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A question I posed to all of my participants surrounds the idea of identifying what continually stresses them out, both personally and professionally. For Jill, she thinks that “there is always still a part of me that feels I need to prove that I deserve to be in the same place as my classmates, and that I am smart and good at what we are all there to do.” She continues to land on a point that I think is an important for anyone, not only students, which is that of “it’s hard to keep reminding myself that as a student, I can and will make mistakes.” No one is perfect, though we often try to be, it’s impossible.

Another thing, that I can very much relate to, that stresses her out is the dating life. As you may have read in my previous post, being in single has its ups and downs. Jill comments, “Dating  can and should be fun and exciting, but anyone who’s been where I have knows that’s not always the case.”

A common theme in most adults lives, primarily those in early adulthood, is the mundane routines we face Monday through Friday. I asked Jill if there are any frustrations she feels are recurring and she plainly states that it’s the repetition of it all; “I go to clinic, go to class, go home, go to bed, and do it all again the next day.” She attributes going out on the weekends with friends as a break from it all and why it’s crucial to do so.

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Although undergrad was only a few short years ago, we often reflect and realize how our thoughts and opinions have changed drastically in that tight time frame. There are definitely things I regret doing and not doing in college, and I’m sure I’m not the only one, and unfortunately since we cannot change the past, maybe we can help those in the future through advice. Jill remarks that her regret is not studying abroad while having the opportunity to, and her reasoning behind it was “I didn’t want to miss a whole semester at college with all my friends” and admittedly adds, “and looking back that was a really young and dumb idea.”

In addition to dishing out advice, Jill also adds “not to stress about getting a job right away. You have your whole life to work and rushing it will just stress you out and you’ll probably end up at a job you don’t even like. If you decide to live at home and don’t get that dream job right away, do not let yourself or other people make you feel like you are any less because of it. We all know how annoying that question of ‘what are you doing now?‘ gets from the insignificant talk that is unfortunately unavoidable.” And I couldn’t agree more.

Finally, I asked Jill to provide quotes that inspire or motivate her and among them, as it fits well with the central theme of my blog, I chose this one to leave here. “Life is 10% what happens to you…and 90% is how you react to it.

Jill concludes by saying, “Do what makes you happy and feel good abut where you are in your life, and not what you feel like you have to do or should be doing compared to or based off of other people’s standards.”

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The Pros and Cons of Being Single in your 20s

With some people, being single sometimes has a negative connotation, and in some situations? Sure, that’s fair. Like when you go home with that creepy/not so hot/desperate guy from the bar because, let’s face it, you’ve been on a dry spell and you’re 4 shots deep. Or you consistently have to RSVP for one to every wedding you’re invited to with a plus one because you’re still not in a serious enough relationship to commit to bring a guest, and the person you’ve been non-exclusive with  has also been non-exclusive with several other people.

BUT, aside from the drawbacks of being single, there are a lot of positive aspects as well. Here’s my list:

PROS:

  • Being more independent
    • Not that you can’t be independent with a significant other, it’s just more probable that you have to be independent while single. Actually, it’s kind of forced upon you. Sometimes your friends and family aren’t always around to do certain things and you conform to a lifestyle of only relying on yourself for company or a good time, which can be fundamental for various situations in life. Independence is good.
  • Time with friends
    • Let’s be honest, you’re going to have more time for your friends when you’re single. You’re more than likely more inclined to go out and get drunk with your friends on the weekends, there’s no decision making between his or her group of friends, and when you wake up hungover in the morning, you go get drunk again with your friends. In contrast, when you’re in a relationship, things can be a bit different; the decision to stay in on the weekends is definitely easier because you have someone to stay in with, which is fair, but you also now have two different friend groups and two families to divide free time with, which ultimately decreases the time you would usually dedicate to friends. I’m just gonna say it- I think people have more of an appreciation for their friends when you’re single.
  • Your focus is sharpened
    • Your focus on things in general, but also your focus on you and only you, is sharpened to the clearest point. You have yourself to look out for, so your discovery of self-love reaches its highest point, which is daunting. You have more time to focus on being a better version of yourself, more focus on your career and goals, and more focus on anything, really. Relationships can sometimes be distracting between jealousies and disagreements, and being single allows you to be more selfish which I think is more than acceptable in your 20s.
  • Meeting and experiencing new or different people
    • Of course you can meet new people while in a relationship, but you have to admit it’s more difficult. There are boundaries and lines you have to be conscious of, certain plans you can’t commit to, and there’s an awareness of which conversations are acceptable or not. It’s much easier to meet new people when single. Also, being able to experience new people, not just  strictly in a sexual way, but in a friendly manner, is definitely rewarding and beneficial in early adulthood.
  • No bullshit
    • There’s no perfect relationship, that’s common knowledge. But sometimes while listening to my friends bitch about the dumb things their boyfriends did or didn’t do, said or didn’t say, all I can think is “wow, I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with this bullshit.”

With all that being said, I’m sure there are a lot of people thinking I have it all wrong, especially those in relationships, but let me stop you there. There are also a lot of cons to this lifestyles as well.

Cons:

  • Not having plans
    • When you’re only other single friend has plans without you, you may as well just stay on your couch all night, find something to watch on Netflix, and order a pizza because more than likely, you won’t have any other plans. All your other friends are either staying in with their boyfriends or going out with their friends or families. Buzz kill.
  • Constantly dodging questions regarding your relationship status
    • “So, are you dating anyone?” No, mom, and the answer hasn’t changed since you last asked me just a few short weeks ago. Maybe it’s a generational thing since most of our parents were probably married, or at least dating each other at our age, that they find it so abnormal when we’re not on the verge of marriage and babies. But yeah, the question get very old, very quick.
  • Dry spells
    • As nice as it is to have the ability to spontaneously make out with different people, the opportunity doesn’t always occur and there are periods of time when you almost convince yourself you’re a virgin because it’s been so long since you’ve had sex. Inappropriate? Sure. False? Hell no.
  • Wanting to go out but also wanting to stay in
    • It’s so hard to force yourself to sit in on a Friday or Saturday night if you’re not working or have no one else to spend the night with. Sometimes, there’s nothing I want more than to just stay in and watch TV or read, but then the creeping voice inside my head that calls me a loser speaks up and I force myself to go out because society makes me feel pressured to do so. But, when you have a significant other, you can silence these pressures and have someone to cuddle up on the couch with.
  • ‘Ms. Megan Keough accepts with pleasure.. and I’ll take the chicken’
    • As I touched on briefly in my opening, it does become a tad depressing when you have no one to bring as your date to a wedding when you’re invited with a guest. I don’t want to bring just anyone and I won’t, but I guess it would be nice to be able to invite someone so I could get both the fish and the chicken. And also not be the reason there’s an odd number of people at the table…

So, there’s a lot of ifs and buts, pros and cons, and probably a lot of arguments surrounding these points. But either way, cheers to all you single people and cheers to all of you in relationships!